Best Coast is a Terrible Band

Sometimes when I listen to music I get the sense that everyone in the world is playing a giant trick on me. Like when a truly terrible song comes on the radio and I say, “What the crap, this song is horrible,” everyone will jump out and say, “Haha! It’s okay Nikki, we know ‘Like a G6’ is ridiculous and no, we didn’t know it was sung by a band of Asian Americans called the Far East Movement either but it’s not really loved by the majority of Americans. We just wanted to see if you’d freak out.”

By now, I’m pretty used to feeling this way about pop music. But there are times when I feel this way about “alt” or “indie” music as well and that is particularly upsetting for one reason. The thing about bands you read about on Pitchfork or in your local anti-establishment weekly is that they are ostensibly of a higher quality. The listener of said music is more selective, has higher standards. This is the assumption at the base of the musical caste system—don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. So when a band gets away with that level of critical acclaim and gets to wear the sheep’s clothing of talent and skill, it’s twice the failure on the part of the listener. It’s one failure to listen to bad music; it’s another to act as though it has artistic merit. Best Coast is one of these secretly bad bands.

A few months ago I went to a Best Coast concert completely unfamiliar with the music. By the time frontwoman Bethany Cosentino droned “I wish you were my boyfriend,” for the 100th time in the two minute and 30 second span of a song in which that appears to be the only lyric, it became clear that her music is terrible on several levels.

Level one. The lyrics (all written by Cosentino) are bad for women. Sure, there are times when I’ve thought to myself, “Man, I wish that guy was my boyfriend,” or even the much less cool, “I wish I had a boyfriend.” And music is an art form that can and should explore emotions we’re not necessarily proud of and then inform and express the cause and outcome of that emotion. But I don’t think that Best Coast is doing any of that. I think Cosentino is just lazy. Every song on the album Crazy For You is about a girl who wants a boy and moreover that girl cannot live without that boy.

Sample lyrics: “When you leave me/the bed is empty/and I feel crazy.”

“And I don't know which way to go/Every time you leave this house, everything falls apart.”

“I can't get myself off the couch/I don't wanna talk to anyone else.”

“I can't do anything with out you/Can't do anything with you/You drive me crazy, but I love you/You make me lazy, but I love you”

We give ourselves permission to regress on occasion. We aren’t always strong in our romantic relationships and we rock out to unchallenging boy-crazy club music on a Friday night. But at a certain point, these moments and this music isn’t just frivolous fun. It’s counterproductive indulgence and Best Coast’s lyrics are a flat, uncomplicatedly negative portrayal of women.

It doesn’t have to be that way either. Songs do exist that express infatuation without the submissiveness, weakness and whining. See Mandy Moore’s “Crush,” or Selena’s “Dreaming of You.” Yes, I said it, the Mandy Moore song is better.

Level two. Subject matter aside, the lyrics are just plain bad writing. They’re made up of simple couplets that are end stopped on the rhyme (crazy/lazy, friend/end). They’re baby food. You could write them yourself given five minutes. And seeing that it’s possible to write, “I want you so much” five times in a row, call that’s a day's work and get a record deal and the lavish praise of alternative media, maybe you should.

We give Taylor Swift flak for singing about the romance of rain too often (“Meet you out in the pouring rain.” “Kiss you in the rain.”) Well, Cosentino’s lyrical crutch is “waiting by the phone.” That’s what’s so great about the 21^st century, Beth—you can take your phone with you. You can get calls anywhere.

In conclusion, Best Coast’s music is poorly written drivel that portrays women in an unnecessarily weak and frankly boring manner. So let’s all stop listening to Best Coast, start paying closer attention to what we’re giving our time to and save our consideration for things that actually deserve it.

A Response to Taylor Swift Backlash

Two things have prompted me to rejuvenate my blog:

1. Hearing Ke$ha's latest hit and consequently almost veering into oncoming traffic to end my misery.
2. This interesting, if over-long, article on why Taylor Swift sucks made me mad because I still love her.

This article does raise some good points -- Swiftie talks about rain a lot, it's true.-- and after a cursory listen, it's evident that Swift has a naive and elementary understanding of the world. But I think that's okay. Not all girls need to be sullied on a ping-pong table at too young an age or grow up in poverty to earn the right to make music.

The author paints Taylor as a virginal role model that Moms of America love, at odds with the more revolutionary, edgy and honest artists like Lady Gaga. Moms do prefer Taylor to Gaga, but unlike the petulant punk-rebels of the world, that doesn't make me like her less. As the writer points out, Taylor-the-person is different from Taylor-the-product. She, like her fellow female musicians (/all women?) are images crafted by 100 different hands. Conservative Christians can probably get behind her "Don't have sex when you're 15" message and the not-so-subtle, "good girls wear white" imagery in her videos. But who's fault is it that Taylor Swift perpetuates the Madonna/whore complex with the caricatures in the "You Belong to Me" video? Is it Taylor's? We were all raised in a society that holds that standard and it isn't fair to martyr this single musician for its existence.

It's also a leap to say that Taylor Swift's lyrics about waiting to have sex until you're sure you can trust the boy driving the hot rod is the same as condoning an abstinence-only lifestyle. And if her music has Christian elements, isn't that simply in line with the genre of country music? Morals aside, the reason I like her is because out of all the other pop stars on the top 40s charts, she actually has a sincere viewpoint. She's not a slutty robot. How many more songs are we going to have to hear about getting wasted in a club and be told to put our hands up because the beat is sick? Club pop is so, so tired.

Honestly, sincerity is a sad reason to like an artist. It's a low standard to be sure. But what are my options when the Black-Eyed Peas make songs that sound like SNL parodies (ahem, "Get out and smash it, like oh my God") and the extent of Ke$ha's lyrical genius is "Blah blah blah, that's what I'm talkin' bout"? She announces to everyone that she has nothing to say, and yet everyone is still listening! Excuse me if I find Taylor Swift a breath of fresh air.

I'm not saying that perpetuating destructive gender roles unknowingly makes it okay, and you can go ahead and criticize her for that. But please, do not try to tell me that Lady Gaga is a feminist. It's an impossible, much-argued issue, whether flaunting your sexuality makes you progressive or just makes boys happy, so we won't argue about her effect on sexual politics. I'll just point out that Madonna (not of madonna-whore fame, but of "Vogue"/ pointy bra fame) already revolutionized female sexuality two decades ago. Gaga is a rehash with a wig.

Team Taylor.