I'm Just Not That Into You

When the lattes begin to cool, or alternatively the beer is getting warm, my conversations are often saved by the question, "What celebrity would you most like to punch in the face?" Because there are celebrities we love (Eva Mendes, pre-mustache Robert Downey, Jr., the Olsens... I needn't go on) but there are the stars we could arguably say we enjoy having around even more because we hate them so much. You can only admire so many people who have lives infinitely better than yours after all. Here is a list of a few that I have heard as a response to that question, but please weigh in on your own celeb-nemeses.

1. Scarlett Johansson, my own personal least-favorite. A one-note actor, the only characters ScarJo ever plays are halfway indie chicks who wear vintage dresses with socks. Yes, yes she's sexy but aren't there plenty of those running around? We're pretty much the same size so I think I could take her. (Please do not ask me to go for her top first thing.)

2. Keira Knightly. Mean face, that one.

3. My roommate picked Jessica Biel, but I think she has pretty nice hair. 

4. All the guys from Growing Up Gotti. "I would kill them. All of them." 

5. Spencer Pratt, obvious choice. LC would be pretty fun to see in a fistfight too, as a side note. 

6. Toby Keith, but why bother really?

Another reason to love Mary Kate Olsen

We all hate Spencer and even though it feels like we know him personally, Mary Kate actually does. On Letterman the other night, MK introduced the laughable idea of Spencer playing a team sport.

Spencer responded typically: "I know I've made it in Hollywood when a famous troll is talking about me on Letterman. I forgive her though. She's had to go through life as the less cute twin, which must be tough."

Whatever Spencer, I can't wait to see The Wackness but I'd still rather see you fall down a manhole. 

And a Note to David Letterman: If I have to hear one more person talk about someone as the "exception" in a morally bankrupt young Hollywood, I am going to have to primal scream. No-underwear jokes are so last summer.