I know it was predictable of me to yearn for you, Robert Downey, Jr., after your middle-aged comeback in a superhero movie. You are too old for me and it's true that the last thing I saw you in before Iron Man was U.S. Marshals (when I was 11 and therefore not yet capable of lust). But you didn't have to go this far. Shave the mustache and we can reach a peaceful armistice.
