Sometimes when I listen to music I get the sense that everyone in the world is playing a giant trick on me. Like when a truly terrible song comes on the radio and I say, “What the crap, this song is horrible,” everyone will jump out and say, “Haha! It’s okay Nikki, we know ‘Like a G6’ is ridiculous and no, we didn’t know it was sung by a band of Asian Americans called the Far East Movement either but it’s not really loved by the majority of Americans. We just wanted to see if you’d freak out.”
By now, I’m pretty used to feeling this way about pop music. But there are times when I feel this way about “alt” or “indie” music as well and that is particularly upsetting for one reason. The thing about bands you read about on Pitchfork or in your local anti-establishment weekly is that they are ostensibly of a higher quality. The listener of said music is more selective, has higher standards. This is the assumption at the base of the musical caste system—don’t pretend it doesn’t exist. So when a band gets away with that level of critical acclaim and gets to wear the sheep’s clothing of talent and skill, it’s twice the failure on the part of the listener. It’s one failure to listen to bad music; it’s another to act as though it has artistic merit. Best Coast is one of these secretly bad bands.
A few months ago I went to a Best Coast concert completely unfamiliar with the music. By the time frontwoman Bethany Cosentino droned “I wish you were my boyfriend,” for the 100th time in the two minute and 30 second span of a song in which that appears to be the only lyric, it became clear that her music is terrible on several levels.
Level one. The lyrics (all written by Cosentino) are bad for women. Sure, there are times when I’ve thought to myself, “Man, I wish that guy was my boyfriend,” or even the much less cool, “I wish I had a boyfriend.” And music is an art form that can and should explore emotions we’re not necessarily proud of and then inform and express the cause and outcome of that emotion. But I don’t think that Best Coast is doing any of that. I think Cosentino is just lazy. Every song on the album Crazy For You is about a girl who wants a boy and moreover that girl cannot live without that boy.
Sample lyrics: “When you leave me/the bed is empty/and I feel crazy.”
“And I don't know which way to go/Every time you leave this house, everything falls apart.”
“I can't get myself off the couch/I don't wanna talk to anyone else.”
“I can't do anything with out you/Can't do anything with you/You drive me crazy, but I love you/You make me lazy, but I love you”
We give ourselves permission to regress on occasion. We aren’t always strong in our romantic relationships and we rock out to unchallenging boy-crazy club music on a Friday night. But at a certain point, these moments and this music isn’t just frivolous fun. It’s counterproductive indulgence and Best Coast’s lyrics are a flat, uncomplicatedly negative portrayal of women.
It doesn’t have to be that way either. Songs do exist that express infatuation without the submissiveness, weakness and whining. See Mandy Moore’s “Crush,” or Selena’s “Dreaming of You.” Yes, I said it, the Mandy Moore song is better.
Level two. Subject matter aside, the lyrics are just plain bad writing. They’re made up of simple couplets that are end stopped on the rhyme (crazy/lazy, friend/end). They’re baby food. You could write them yourself given five minutes. And seeing that it’s possible to write, “I want you so much” five times in a row, call that’s a day's work and get a record deal and the lavish praise of alternative media, maybe you should.
We give Taylor Swift flak for singing about the romance of rain too often (“Meet you out in the pouring rain.” “Kiss you in the rain.”) Well, Cosentino’s lyrical crutch is “waiting by the phone.” That’s what’s so great about the 21st century, Beth—you can take your phone with you. You can get calls anywhere.
In conclusion, Best Coast’s music is poorly written drivel that portrays women in an unnecessarily weak and frankly boring manner. So let’s all stop listening to Best Coast, start paying closer attention to what we’re giving our time to and save our consideration for things that actually deserve it.
