La Moustache

I know it was predictable of me to yearn for you, Robert Downey, Jr., after your middle-aged comeback in a superhero movie. You are too old for me and it's true that the last thing I saw you in before Iron Man was U.S. Marshals (when I was 11 and therefore not yet capable of lust). But you didn't have to go this far. Shave the mustache and we can reach a peaceful armistice.

Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl"*

Why did it take so long for someone to make the Two-Girls-Kiss-to-Get-Attention gimmick into a song? This was a perfectly conceived idea that fully exploits the attraction of hot part-time lesbians and also Madonna-whore, not only in the innocent taste of cherry chapstick, but KP's kittenish finger biting in the video. The song, like the act of girl-on-girl action itself, is not subtle. There's no need for suspense, so it's a good thing they just put everything on the table with the song title. NO MAN CAN RESIST. Not even Kanye!

Another plus, when girls hear it at clubs they might make out in deference to it. Because god knows they can't dance to it.

*I hate this song