Last summer Jessica Alba was my Model of Fitness. Every time I did a sit-up, I envisioned myself as Jessica. I loved her in Honey (a completely underrated film in which Missy Elliott saves the day, as she so often does for us all), and I was pretty certain she was the most gorgeous being to have ever walked the earth.
But she sort of dropped off my radar by being in movies like Good Luck Chuck and Awake and after a while I got too busy to be watching TNT reruns of Honey for the 15th time. Then she got pregnant. Beautifully pregnant, but still, it was hard for me to jog to visions of baby-belly Jessicas.
So for this summer I needed a new muse. And I'm pretty picky. I'm not so much into waifs, thereby disqualifying Keira Knightley, Kate Hudson and a host of other starlets. I saw some hot pictures of Bar Rafaeli in a bikini, but I'm not sure I could bear thinking about the woman who gets to sleep beside Leonardo Dicaprio on a regular basis. Maggie Gyllenhaal and Zooey Deschanel are two of my favorites, but they seem too hipster to exercise.
I finally settled on Eva Mendes. In fact, when I see her, I kind of swoon. Plus there are ads all over the city with jewels falling out her mouth. And she is in these Calvin Klein underwear ads...
Um, I kind of want to be her boyfriend!!!!
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